Stressed out couples on a short fuse

NEW DELHI: The New Year seems to have begun on a violent note with the city witnessing two incidents of marital discord ending in gruesome murders. In the first case, an east Delhi man slit his wife’s throat and wrote a note with her blood on the wall before committing suicide by jumping in front of a train on January 2. The second incident was reported on Sunday where a techie allegedly attempted to kill his wife and then committed suicide.
So, what’s making Delhi couples so short-tempered and what is prompting otherwise normal working men, with no record of violence, to resort to violence?
TOI spoke to psychologists and police officers on the growing trend of domestic conflicts. “The primary cause for such outbursts is the lack of self-control and anger management—a problem prevalent among youngsters these days. Most of the time, working professionals get into wedlock without being prepared for it and expect everything to fall in place immediately. Work-related stress also affects relationships. I would suggest people to go through de-stressing programmes or get into productive discussions to make sure that such situations do not arise,” says Avdesh Sharma, a psychologist.
A senior police officer, who counsels the fighting couples, says that a majority of incidents of domestic violence are an outcome of sudden rage. “The police have little to do in such cases if the woman does not approach us. But when they do, our aim is to reduce tension. If they don’t agree, we go for the legal course,” says Varsha Sharma, DCP, special police unit for women and children (SPUWC).
In some cases, the aggressor starts feeling guilty after realizing that they have committed a murder or tried to kill the spouse and then resorts to suicide.
“Fearing arrest or social stigma, the husband tries to end his life. In almost all the cases of a fatal attack or bid on their partners, we found that the husband had committed or attempted to commit suicide,” says an officer.
Psychologists say that violent fights are related to mental illness and immediate help should be sought when they become too frequent.
Nimesh Desai, another psychiatrist, says, “The couple and their families should be more careful whenever instances of marital discord arise. It is a sort of mental health disorder and should be treated. There is no stigma in visiting a counsellor. All such cases begin with small issues which are left unattended for days leading to a major incident.”
Robin Hibu, joint commissioner, SPUWC, says they also have a team of counsellors from Tata Institute of Social Sciences to help the couples with counseling.
“If there is a case of violence, an appropriate case is registered and action taken but this is only when the victim is willing to register a case with a formal complaint. Our efforts are always to keep the marriage intact through counseling,” he added.